How Speakers Can Use Body Language To Increase Their Success With Audiences - 4

For public speakers the body language news is both good and bad.

The good news is that you are already an unconscious expert, for the most part, in reading some of the body language cues and the concomitant underlying emotions of people familiar to you. For example, arriving home, you can tell in an instant if your significant other is in a bad mood, right? Or at work, you know instinctively if your boss is in a really good mood for some reason or another. Or you can tell when a colleague is stressed out and unlikely to help you with something.

Unfortunately, an audience is only somewhat familiar to you in that sense.  That is, you’ve done your research, you know who they are, but you don’t know them deeply like you do a loved one or a work colleague.  (Unless of course you’re talking to your work colleagues.)

So what can you use to decode an audience’s intent?

Your unconscious mind.

Let’s go over a few general principles. For all body language reading, you want to first establish a baseline reading and then note differences. In other words, first check out the audience’s general orientation toward you and then notice whenever there’s a significant change. That can indicate a change of heart, mood, decision, or simply a desire to take a quick break. Think in terms of baseline and change. Keep it simple.

In this regard, remember to always consider the context. A person who suddenly closes down, for example, may not be indicating hostility, but rather thinks it’s time to go. We often signal the end of our attention spans with a change in body language that involves retreating, closing off, or disconnecting. That’s not necessarily hostile; it just means it’s time to go.

Overall, when we move closer to someone else, we’re showing friendliness, trust, or connection. When we increase the distance, we show the opposite. Hand gestures tell a similar story. When people reach toward us with open gestures, they’re usually signaling openness. Only rarely is it something else, like a left hook to the jaw. Reaching can indicate aggression, control, or an attempt to dominate. An embrace, the ultimate open gesture, after all, is a combination of open hand gestures and open torso, where we reduce the space between ourselves and someone else to zero.

Hands speak a constant language; learn to watch them for what they’ll tell you. Are they placed placidly in the lap? Are they nervously kneading one another? Are the hands twitching constantly, or attempting to conceal themselves in pockets or behind the back? Hands are marvelous little weather vanes signaling the state of the soul within. You get regular updates from other people’s hands about the state of their nerves, defensiveness, confidence, anger, happiness, sorrow, interest or boredom, in addition to their openness or lack thereof. A recent study found that hands are a more reliable indicator of poker players’ cards than their faces, which of course are proverbially poker-faced.

Finally, start to watch people’s legs and feet. Most of the adults you’ll meet are reasonably good at assuming bland expressions on their faces, but their legs and feet will likely tell a more revealing story. Look for overall orientation. Are those legs near you, pointed toward you, or not? Are those feet close to yours or pointing toward the door? Look for signs of discomfort or nervous energy, such as bouncing or fidgeting. That’s a more reliable giveaway than that carefully neutral face.

Finally, the face does reveal some clues if you look closely.  Eyes wide open indicate interest; narrowed eyes the opposite (or nearsightedness or bright lights.  Nodding in response to you signals agreement, or at least a friendly, encouraging person.  Smiling is even better – a real smile, which reaches the eyes.  And raised eyebrows indicate openness to what you’re saying.

But don’t put too much stress on any one of these gestures.  Look for groups of gestures and overall indications of mood.

Once you’ve got the hang of these groups of gestures and the general story they’re telling, then you’re ready to pose the two big questions to yourself and to your unconscious.

Ask yourself, are these people looking to me for authority?  And, are these people aligned with me? 

Ask them one at a time.  Wait for the answer.  Your unconscious mind has already picked up the necessary clues; you simply have to field them.  It’s a matter of listening to what your mind is telling you – that still small voice of Biblical fame.

This is much easier to do when you’re not in front of an audience, full of adrenaline, and trying to strut your stuff.  So practice it until it seems easy in the comfort of a meeting room and some familiar people.  The more you practice it, the stronger will be the answers coming from your unconscious mind – aka your gut – and the more clearly you will hear them.

Then, when you’re well-versed in the technique, and you’ve attuned yourself to the messages that your unconscious mind is sending you, you’re ready to try asking these questions in front of an audience.

And once you’ve got the hang of those two questions, you’ll find yourself able to ask new questions on the spot and get answers to them.  Once you start talking to your unconscious mind, you’ll be astonished at what it has to tell you.

This blog series is adapted from my new book, Power Cues:  The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, and Maximizing Your Personal Impact, published May 13, 2014 by Harvard. You can order it here.