4 Things About Managing People I Wish I Knew When I Started

I started my first company when I was 17. Between then and now (I’m 33 as of this column), I’ve launched four additional companies and have managed hundreds of people directly.

The way you lead and manage people is the make-or-break skill that will determine if you build a good business or an amazing one. It’s something you get better at with practice, but it’s also a skill (like anything) that can be learned and mastered if you’re determined enough.

If I could jump in a time machine and start again knowing what I know now, here’s what I’d tell my 17-year-old self about managing people:

1. Your age doesn’t matter.

When I was 23, I was managing people twice my age. I used to always think to myself “Why would a 45 year old listen to me?” I would get nervous interviewing candidates and a little jittery as we would do our one-on-one and planning meetings.

That wore off pretty quickly, though. As it turns out, age is only a barrier in your head. Being young is not a negative. Sure, you’re learning as you go, but as long as you pick things up quickly and either read books from great leaders or find a mentor, you’ll be more than fine.

When I think about great young managers at fast-growing companies, I think of Mark Zuckerberg at Facebook and Evan Spiegel at Snapchat. Both started in their early 20s and not only lead thousands of people today, but also many people double or even triple their age.

Before starting their companies they’d never managed anyone, let alone people much older than they are. They picked it all up as they went along and the results speak for themselves.

2. You can’t fake it.

Managing people doesn’t mean having a “work” persona and a “non-work” persona. I’m sure you know people who are completely different outside the office. You might see them at a function or dinner and think “Is that the same person?”

Management, or more accurately, leadership, is all about being your authentic self. That means not trying to be something you’re not. It means being comfortable with who you are and leaning on your strengths to manage effectively.

One of the best ways to build relationships with the people on your team is to actually mix your work and non-work personas. And to do that, you need to be your authentic self.

During your meetings, you need to talk about any work issues, but you can (and should) also sprinkle in topics such as what you did on the weekend, questions about employees' kids, last night’s game or your favorite new restaurant.

When your team does a great job, get them out of the office and do something together as a group that has nothing to do with work. Go bowling. Have a dinner party. Go on a picnic and bring your partners and kids. Get to know who they really are and show them who you are, too.

Definitely take cues from great managers you know, but approach things in your own unique way. There are too many average managers in the world who just punch the clock and take a pay check.

Being your authentic self helps you rise above the mediocrity. Your team will notice and the word will get around. Pretty soon the best people at your company will be asking to come and work for you.

3. You’ll screw up.

Being a manager is hard. You have to think on your feet, make decisions that affect people's lives and deal with all sorts of interesting and unique personalities.

Sometimes you have to trust your gut or make decisions with limited (or incorrect) information. It’s important to understand that not every decision you make will be correct.

When it turns out you’ve made a bad decision, you can either stick with it or admit you were wrong. Standing by a wrong decision is the quickest way to not only harm your team, but also to lose their trust in you a a leader.

There’s no shame in making a wrong decision if you made it with the best intentions and the best information you could find at the time. Just don’t beat yourself up over it and move quickly to get things back on track.

Most important, tell your team you were wrong and let them know why you’ve changed course. Humility and honesty are absolutely everything when it comes to being an exceptional manager.

4. It’s worth your time.

I had to learn everything I mentioned the hard way. I thought I couldn’t manage people who were older than me. I tried to be a “real” manager. And I stuck by too many bad decisions, just because I didn’t want people to think I’d made a mistake.

Luckily, that’s all behind me now. If you keep an open mind, find amazing mentors (either in books or in real life) and have a genuine interest in your team and helping them succeed, you’ll become a great manager.

Being a great manager unlocks huge career opportunities that you can’t even imagine, quite simply because most managers just aren’t that good. Whether you’re 17 or 70, learning to be a great manager is worth your time.

Who knows, you might even have what it takes to be the next Zuckerberg or Spiegel.

Mitchell Harper

7 Challenges Successful People Overcome

It’s truly fascinating how successful people approach problems. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to embrace and obstacles to overcome.

Their confidence in the face of hardship is driven by the ability to let go of the negativity that holds so many otherwise sensible people back.

Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania has studied this phenomenon more than anyone else has, and he’s found that success in life is driven by one critical distinction—whether you believe that your failures are produced by personal deficits beyond your control or that they are mistakes you can fix with effort.

Success isn’t the only thing determined by your mindset. Seligman has found much higher rates of depression in people who attribute their failures to personal deficits. Optimists fare better; they treat failure as learning experiences and believe they can do better in the future.

This success mindset requires emotional intelligence (EQ), and it’s no wonder that, among the million-plus people that TalentSmart has tested, 90% of top performers have high EQs.

Related: Misused Words That Make Smart People Look Dumb

Maintaining the success mindset isn’t easy. There are seven things, in particular, that tend to shatter it. These challenges drag people down because they appear to be barriers that cannot be overcome. Not so for successful people, as these seven challenges never hold them back.

1. Age

Age really is just a number. Successful people don’t let their age define who they are and what they are capable of. Just ask Betty White or any young, thriving entrepreneur.

I remember a professor in graduate school who told our class that we were all too young and inexperienced to do consulting work. He said we had to go work for another company for several years before we could hope to succeed as independent consultants. I was the youngest person in the class, and I sat there doing work for my consulting clients while he droned on.

Without fail, people feel compelled to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do because of your age. Don’t listen to them. Successful people certainly don’t. They follow their heart and allow their passion—not the body they’re living in—to be their guide.

“They follow their heart and allow their passion—not the body they’re living in—to be their guide.”

2. What Other People Think

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own destiny. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to hold up your accomplishments to anyone else’s, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

Successful people know that caring about what other people think is a waste of time and energy. When successful people feel good about something that they’ve done, they don’t let anyone’s opinions take that away from them.

“No matter what other people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.”

3. Toxic People

Successful people believe in a simple notion: you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Just think about it—some of the most successful companies in recent history were founded by brilliant pairs. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak of Apple lived in the same neighborhood, Bill Gates and Paul Allen of Microsoft met in prep school, and Sergey Brin and Larry Page of Google met at Stanford.

Just as great people help you to reach your full potential, toxic people drag you right down with them. Whether it's negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people create stress and strife that should be avoided at all costs.

If you’re unhappy with where you are in your life, just take a look around. More often than not, the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are the root of your problems.

“You’ll never reach your peak until you surround yourself with the right people.”

4. Fear

Fear is nothing more than a lingering emotion that’s fueled by your imagination. Danger is real. It’s the uncomfortable rush of adrenaline you get when you almost step in front of a bus. Fear is a choice. Successful people know this better than anyone does, so they flip fear on its head. They are addicted to the euphoric feeling they get from conquering their fears.

Don’t ever hold back in life just because you feel scared. I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?” Yet, death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you...

“The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.”

Related: 50 Inspirational Quotes to Motivate You

5. Negativity

Life won’t always go the way you want it to, but when it comes down to it, you have the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else does. Successful people make their time count. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have been, they reflect on everything they have to be grateful for. Then they find the best solution available, tackle the problem, and move on.

When the negativity comes from someone else, successful people avoid it by setting limits and distancing themselves from it. Think of it this way:

“If the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke?”

Of course not. You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with all negative people.

A great way to stop complainers in their tracks is to ask them how they intend to fix the problem they’re complaining about. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

6. The Past or the Future

Like fear, the past and the future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Successful people know this, and they focus on living in the present moment. It’s impossible to reach your full potential if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of this very moment.

To live in the moment, you must do two things:

1) Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and it will create your future. Successful people know the only good time to look at the past is to see how far you’ve come.

2) Accept the uncertainty of the future, and don’t place unnecessary expectations upon yourself. Worry has no place in the here and now. As Mark Twain once said,

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

7. The State of the World

Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time and you’ll see it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill fast.

And who knows? Maybe it is. But successful people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. Instead, they focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power—their attention and their effort. They focus their attention on all the things they’re grateful for, and they look for the good that’s happening in the world. They focus their effort on doing what they can every single day to improve their own lives and the world around them, because these small steps are all it takes to make the world a better place.

“They focus their effort on doing what they can every single day to improve their own lives and the world around them...”

Bringing It All Together

Your success is driven by your mindset. With discipline and focus, you can ensure that these seven obstacles never hold you back from reaching your full potential.

Travis Bradberry