Wednesday, July 1, 2015

People Who Spend Money On Experiences Instead Of Things Are Much Happier




When it’s payday and that direct deposit hits your account, you tend to swipe your card more in a day than your thumb swipes through Facebook, Instagram and Tinder combined.
The instant gratification that comes along with the hefty price tags on new clothes, trendy sneakers and expensive jewelry is satisfying enough to be considered an actual addiction.
But it’s crucial for us to remember the importance of investing in our life experiences even more so than splurging on the next big thing from our favorite designer; it’s true that money can’t buy you happiness.
In fact, it seems the happiest people in this world have found a way to distance themselves from shopping addictions and unnecessary spending.
Instead, those people put their money toward travel, experience and memories, and it certainly pays off.
If we all start to invest in our futures more than our sneakers, our lives will be more beautiful than anything money could buy.

Life is about memories, not diamonds.

Just think about it: At the end of your life, are you going to be reminiscing about the fact that you had an iPhone 6 Plus while everyone else was still using the 5, or are you going to recall golden memories you shared with the people who shaped who you’ve become?
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology shows people who made expensive purchases on products rather than experiential investments often devalued a new item’s worth directly after buying it, according to the Huffington Post.
The researchers from San Francisco State University found people do, in fact, understand life is all about the memories we create, but we get so caught up in trends and demand that we cave and make purchases we’ll inevitably regret.
Before they even made the purchases, study participants said life experiences would be more beneficial than buying the latest and greatest items on their wish lists.
After buying whatever their heart temporarily desired, participants soon realized they would much rather have put that money toward an experience, which would have increased their happiness for a more sustained amount of time.

Focus on what makes you happy, not what makes you famous.

Research from Cornell University shows Millennials are tempted to make many of their purchases from society’s influence, which makes things like diamond watches and gold chains not only super expensive, but appealing and trendy as well.
We are just as much a product of our society as the shiny, expensive gifts and toys we exchange on a daily basis, if not more.
What sets us apart from our ancestors is that we are enveloped in the world of social media, and just about anything we buy is photographed for shameless self-promotion.
Dr. Thomas Gilovich is a psychology professor at Cornell Universitywho has been looking for a link between money and happiness.
He says,
We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.
Gilovich makes a great point here.
I’m not saying you should never reward a couple of hard weeks at work with a new outfit and a night out, but our larger investments should go toward experiences that create lifelong memories rather than an item that will lose its “cool” factor within a few years (if it’s lucky).
Gilovich tells Fast Company,
Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods. You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.

Lose the price tag and explore the world around you.

The Next Web reports there are 79 million Millennials in the United States, three million more than the notorious Baby Boomer generation that is responsible for many of the jobs, industries and government programs at our disposal.
But industries are going to have to re-evaluate Gen-Y if they want to target us in their advertising. Most of us are starting to realize the priceless advantages of spending our hard-earned money on things like travel, education and creative activities.
Researchers say companies will need to adapt to this shift in mentality in order to compete and survive in this generation’s new world.
Ultimately, these are longer-term investments in our own individual happiness.
By spending more of our money on things that enhance our life — filling us with golden memories and unforgettable adventures — we aren’t just changing the industries that surround us, we’re shedding some much-needed positivity and light on the world.

Each day we’re convinced to buy things we don’t need, spend money we don’t have and purchase garbage that loses its value within a matter of weeks.
Generation-Y is one of the largest, most influential groups of society, and we have the unique ability to control the fate of our wallets and investments in life.
Why buy the latest phone when you can put that $400 toward a plane ticket to a country you’ve never been before?
People who constantly live with their future goals, investments and happiness at the forefront of their minds tend to live much happier lives than the rest of consumers swamped in products and bullsh*t.
It’s time to stop swiping the cards every time we get paid and start thinking about the memories we could be making with just a little bit of extra savings and a road map.
Chris Roitta

7 sentences successful people never say




Success is not something that can be accomplished overnight.
It takes a lot of hard work, time and sheer dedication.
Every successful leader, entrepreneur or idealist has had their own unique journey as they strove for what they believed in and proved to society that anyone can break free from the chains they think are holding them back. 
Although each of them had different a different path, their destination was the same: success.
There are many factors which tie these successful individuals together, one of them being how they grew and matured along the journey. Steve Siebold, author of “How Rich People Think,” interviewed more than a thousand millionaires over three decades to learn what led them to their success and wealth.
The answer was quite simple: Steve learned that it did not matter where they were born, or even to whom — what really made these millionaires stand out was their mentality, the drive to reach their goals while letting nothing hold them back. This mindset led these individuals to wealth.
Here are seven sentences you’ll never hear a successful person say because they contradict that unstoppable attitude.

1. “I hate my job”

See also: “I hate this company,” “My boss is an idiot”
One highly-admired quality in successful people is that they are never too opinionated about their job or workplace, irrespective of what they might be doing at any point in life. Even if they are in a situation which is uncomfortable or are surrounded with negative energy, they always avoid statements like the above. These negative elements do nothing but slow you down in your journey to achieve success. Instead of insulting a person, the job or the company, they seek to resolve issue with proper facts, tactics and complete neutrality.

2. “That’s not fair”

See also: “But I deserve it more”
Did your rival receive an award, appraisal, or recognition and you got nothing, while you’re twice as dedicated and productive? A mistake successful people never make is ranting and raving about the injustices of life. Unfairness is something you have to get used to. Success is not gifted to you — you have to work to earn it, and in the midst of doing that you need to show you deserve it.
Instead of whining and complaining, the secret of being able to move on is to be proactive about such issues and not reactive. Causing a scene will only affect you negatively. If you think you were much more deserving, prove it by making a strong case and presenting it.

3. “That’s not how it’s done here”

See also: “Because it has always been done this way”
Innovation is a key characteristic of successful people, whichever fields they might be in. You have to learn to embrace new things and not be afraid of doing away with conventions. Nobody ever achieved anything great without trying something new.
Take Steve Jobs for instance: Mr. Jobs was very passionate about innovation and such passion led to amazing creations like the iPhone and the iPad, devices that changed the world. Jobs once said, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”
Darlene Price, president of Well Said, Inc., shared some advice with Business Insider about keeping an open mind and innovating at work. “Even if you disagree with someone’s idea, say instead, ‘Wow, that’s an interesting idea. How would that work?'” Price said. “Or, ‘That’s a different approach. Let’s discuss the pros and cons.'” Don’t be obstinate and afraid to try new things — that’s not the way success is achieved!

Sergey Brin.


4. “That’s not my job”

See also: “Not my problem,” “I don’t get paid enough”
There is one big rule which successful individuals follow: If you are truly successful, you will help others succeed as well. An example of this can be taken from Mr. Warren Buffett, who said, “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.”
Becoming a team player is what helps you get closer to success, and if you are not a team player success will never come to you. You might be rich, you might be successful, but the hard work and dedication of your employees and members of your business or organization are the real reason behind your success and your reputation.

5. “That’s impossible”

See also: “That can’t be done,” “I can’t do this”
Successful people know that boundaries and limits are only creations of the mind, and we ourselves give birth to such restrictions. Such statements needlessly hold you back from achieving greatness. Achievers do not complain about barriers or hurdles; instead they find a way around obstacles and use their creativity to challenge them.
Negative words like “can’t,” “won’t,” and “impossible” are never heard from the mouths of successful individuals. They know complaining will not help them, but actually doing something about the issue at hand will.

6. “I could have”

See also: “I should have,” “I might have been able to”
Regret is the worst feeling an individual can face, to keep revisiting times when they “could have” done something, the situation was out of hand or else they “would have,” now realizing that they “should have.” Successful individuals do not give themselves the opportunity to regret. This is due to two reasons: either they take the opportunity, no matter the odds, and turn the tables around; or they move on and find another opportunity that awaits. Regret is never going to serve anyone.

7. “I have no choice”

See also: “I have no other options,” “I’ve done all I can”
There are always options and opportunities at hand, and successful people know how to create their own way to these opportunities. Price pointed out, “To say we have no choice in the matter implies that we perceive ourselves as a victim, that we are less powerful than our environment.”
Josh Felber has been recognized multiple times in the National Who’s Who of Entrepreneurs, was a National Winner of the ATT and USA Today Investment Challenge, and has been featured on radio and television in the greater Akron area. Josh co-authored two-time best-selling books “Transform” with Brian Tracy, as well as “SuccessOnomics” with Steve Forbes.

Josh Felber

Thursday, June 25, 2015

I'm a self-made millionaire, and here are the 10 best pieces of advice I can give you about money




About six months ago my wife and I decided to turn our North Georgia summer retreat into our full-time residence.
We decided to make a few changes to the property now that we would be living in it year-round.
As I was getting into my car one morning, three of the workers paused from what they were doing and stared me down.
I stopped and asked if everything was ok and one of the men said, "It's not fair. You have this beautiful home and a nice car while we are stuck doing hard labor for just a little more than minimum wage."
I approached the men and we ended up speaking about building wealth for more than an hour. I shared with them that life wasn't always this good, and at one point I was $50,000 in debt and didn't know how I would climb out of it. The men shook my hand and thanked me for sharing my insights.
Fast forward to this morning and I was again about to get into my car. A man driving a truck down the street stops in front of my house and yells, "Mr. Siebold, I took your advice and started my own company. I have five employees working for me and business is booming. My family and I are experiencing freedom like we never thought possible."
He continued, "Please share your words of wisdom with others."
So moved that this man turned his life around, I'm now going to take his advice and share the takeaways from that conversation six months ago:
1. In a free market economy, anyone can make as much money as they want.
2. Your background, highest level of education, or IQ is irrelevant when it comes to earning money.
3. The fastest way to make money is to solve a problem. The bigger the problem you solve, the more money you make.
4. Don't listen to the naysayers who tell you that life is supposed to be a struggle and that you should settle and be grateful for what you have.
5. Expect to make more money. For this one you have to think big. $100,000, $500,000, or why not $1 million?
6. Lose the fear and scarcity mindset and start seeing money for all the good things: freedom, opportunity, possibility, and abundance.
7. Being rich isn't a privilege. Being rich is a right. If you create massive value for others, you have the right to be as rich as you want.
8. Don't wait for your ship to come in. You're not going to be discovered, saved, or made rich by an outside force. If you want a lot of money, build your own ship. No one is coming to the rescue.
9. Stop worrying about running out of money and focus on how to make more. Constantly worrying about money is no way to live. Dream about money, instead.
10. Stop telling yourself that getting rich is outside of your control. The truth is that making money is an inside job.
Just like the man working at my home six months ago who was frustrated over his finances and held a grudge against the rich, you too have the power to change your financial situation around. Maybe you've been living in debt for years or maybe you've just dreamed of having more; it's all possible if you make the decision and really set your mind to it.

Steve Siebold

10 Skills That Are Hard to Learn But Pay Off Forever



The best things in life may be free, but that doesn't mean they won't take time, sweat, and perseverance to acquire.
That's especially the case when it comes to learning important life skills.
In an effort to ascertain which talents are worth the investment, one Quora reader posed the question: What are the hardest and most useful skills to learn?
We've highlighted our favorite takeaways.

1. Time management

Effective time management is one of the most highly valued skills by employers. While there is no one right way, it's important to find a system that works for you and stick to it, Alina Grzegorzewska explains. 
"The hardest thing to learn for me was how to plan," she writes. "Not to execute what I have planned, but to make so epic a to-do list and to schedule it so thoroughly that I'm really capable of completing all the tasks on the scheduled date."

2. Empathy

"You can be the most disciplined, brilliant, and even wealthy individual in the world, but if you don't care for or empathize with other people, then you are basically nothing but a sociopath," writes Kamia Taylor.
Empathy, as business owner Jane Wurdwand explains, is a fundamental human ability that has too readily been forsworn by modern business.
"Empathy — the ability to feel what others feel — is what makes good sales and service people truly great. Empathy as in team spirit — esprit d'corps — motivates people to try harder. Empathy drives employees to push beyond their own apathy, to go bigger, because they feel something bigger than just a paycheck," she writes.

3. Mastering your sleep

There are so many prescribed sleep hacks out there it's often hard to keep track. But regardless of what you choose, establishing a ritual can help ensure you have restful nights.
Numerous studies show that being consistent with your sleep schedule makes it easier to fall asleep and wake up, and it helps promote better sleep in general.

4. Positive self-talk

"Ultimately it doesn't matter what others think of you," writes Shobhit Singhal, "but what you think of yourself certainly does, and it takes time to build that level of confidence and ability to believe in yourself when nobody else does."
On the other side of positive self-talk is negative self-talk, which Betsy Myers, founding director of The Center for Women and Business at Bentley University, believes can slowly chip away at your confidence.

5. Consistency

Whether you're trying a new exercise routine, studying for the LSATs, or working on an important project, Khaleel Syed writes that consistency is vital to maintaining any kind of success.
People often stop working hard when they reach the top, he explains, but to maintain that top position, they have to work harder and be more consistent in their work.

6. Asking for help

"I once was told in a job interview, 'You can't have this job if you can't ask for help when you need it,'" Louise Christy writes. "Naturally, I said I could. Later, I found out that the previous person with that job had screwed up big-time because he was in over his head but couldn't admit it and didn't ask for help."
She explains that knowing when you need help and then asking for it is surprisingly difficult to learn and do because no one wants to be perceived as weak or incompetent.
But a recent study from the Harvard Business School suggests doing so makes you look more, not less, capable. According to the study authors, when you ask people for advice, you validate their intelligence or expertise, which makes you more likely to win them over.

7. Knowing when to shut up — and actually doing it

"You can't go around whining about every other thing that seems not-so-right to you in this world," writes Roshna Nazir. "Sometimes you just need to shut up."
There are many instances when keeping to yourself is the best course. "When we are angry, upset, agitated, or vexed," writes Anwesha Jana, "we blurt out anything and everything that comes to our mind." And later, you tend to regret it.
Keeping your mouth shut when you're agitated is one of the most valuable skills to learn, and of course, one of the most difficult.

8. Listening

Along with shutting up comes listening, says Richard Careaga.
"Most of us in the workplace are so overwhelmed with things to do — instant messaging, phones ringing. I mean, our brain can only tolerate so much information before it snaps," Nicole Lipkin, author of "What Keeps Leaders Up At Night," previously told Business Insider.
One tip for active listening is repeating back what you heard to the other person. "It makes things so much easier when everyone is on the same page," she said.

9. Minding your business

"It takes ages to learn and master this," writes Aarushi Ruddra.
Sticking your nose into other people's work isn't helpful and wastes time and resources, she says. "You have no right to put forth your two or four cents, even if you are the last righteous person standing."

10. Mastering your thoughts

To do what you want to do and accomplish what you want to accomplish, you need to consciously direct your thinking, writes Mark Givert.
"The challenge is that we are the product of our past experience and all of our thinking is the result of this," he says. "However, the past does not equal the future."
Rachel Gillett

Here's what 13 successful CEOs think their employees should do before they turn 30


Turning 30 can be a turning point in a person’s life, and career.
It’s the point where career goals start setting in and the hunger to land a spot in the corner office increases.
So we asked some CEOs what they would want their employees to have done before they turn the big 3-0.
From saving money to travelling the world, starting your own business and taking risks, here's some advice from CEOs who have done it all before.
Aaron Smith Business Insider Australia

Aaron Smith, CEO and founder KX Group.

The first thing I would say is to travel the world. There is nothing more eye-opening than travelling the globe to broaden your thinking and excel your communication skills with other people and cultures. Worldly experience is priceless. It's also about becoming more relatable to people which will only reflect positivity back in the real world. By 25 I had travelled to over 40 countries and had lived overseas for 5 years. It was amazing.
Be selfish, risk everything and live life on the edge. Before you are 30 you have no real responsibilities and possibly no mortgage/family that you need to support. Be daring and risk it all for huge success. You're young, motivated and have plenty of time to regroup if you fail so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The older you get the more excuses you will find and the more you will regret not having a crack. I lost my life savings on my first business at 18 and succeeded on my second at 26. Fail forward.
Taichi HoshinoBusiness Insider Australia

Taichi Hoshino, CEO of Monetise.

Build good habits. Whether it's time management, work ethic, setting work/life boundaries, exercising, eating well or being disciplined with your personal finances, habits are your baseline. When unexpected moments interfere in your life, it is long established habits that are your saviour. Form them young and they'll be with you for life.
Jo Burston 1Jo Burston

Jo Burston, founder and CEO of Inspiring Rare Birds.

Learn how to manage up as well as down. Most people I meet in their 20s are busy fulfilling the notion of managing less skilled colleagues, when the real skill is managing up to more skilled and experienced people. The art of conversation and public speaking will take you everywhere in life.
Find your passion and then aim to be the best on the planet at what you do by having a ferocious hunger for learning. Both formally and through experience.
Find a mentor that has walked the pathway you wish to walk. Then be totally reliable, honest and respectful with your time with them. They learn from you too!
Save money every pay. Learn how to budget and get out of home and stand on your own independent feet. Nobody owes you anything. Lose the sense of entitlement. It's not yours to take.
Start and run a business. No matter how small. If you can learn these skills early, you will learn how to fail with low risk or repercussion. Basic accounting and business skill will support and future endeavours.
Finally, travel and get out of your bubble and get uncomfortable. It will help with acceptance, tolerance, and patience, and show you how incredible our world really is.
Dean J. Ramler Milan DirectBusiness Insider Australia

Dean Ramler, CEO and co-founder of Milan Direct.

Learn the art of going above and beyond and doing more than what you are currently expected to or paid to do. The typical employee does the old 5 o'clock shuffle because that is when the typical work day ends. Everyone has the right to do this. Yet there are a select few high achievers who understand the value of going above and beyond their current pay grade and always look to provide the most service to the company, often staying back as late as I do.
As a CEO you come to rely on the select few who really go above and beyond, it becomes a habit to call on these high achievers to assist in core tasks when everyone else has left for the day. It is no surprise that these same people end up becoming the senior managers of the company, and are the most compensated with promotions and pay rises.
phil locomoteBusiness Insider Australia

Philip Weinman, CEO of Locomote.

Start your own business while you still live at home. It’s a good time to experiment with a business idea, while you don’t have any real expenses. Find a mentor or someone you that you trust to give you advice - outside of family - who has no financial agenda.
You will learn from your mistakes during this time, and if you decide that you want to move into a corporate environment, you'll already know what works and what doesn’t. Along with business experience, you'll learn to make and stand by your decisions - a trait that is highly regarded by Locomote.

Christian Mischler, COO, CMO and co-founder of Hotel Quickly.

Travel the world! Explore new regions and cultures, it creates independence and gives you experience that will have lastingly positive effect on the rest of your life.
John WinningBusiness Insider Australia

John Winning, CEO and founder of The Winning Group.

Get as much experience as you can - it's important to have a good mix of valuable life and work experience. Whether it's a part time job and/or work experience at school, try to immerse yourself in different industries and roles within a business. I drove trucks, worked in a warehouse, did door-to-door and in-store sales.
Be sure to gain a further education that interests you. It doesn't have to be university, even if it's just reading books it's great to have an interest in learning, and curiosity is an amazing motivator. I never attended university after school however the years that followed shaped how I approach my work and how my business operates. From practical work experience within the retail industry, to personal achievements such as competing in many sailing championships and eventually winning a world title, every experience has enriched my thinking and ability to tackle obstacles and grapple opportunities in business.
Zach johnson atmailBusiness Insider Australia

Zach Johnson, CEO of atmail.com

Having worn a mohawk in a variety of colours, scuba dived, completed a tour of duty with the US Army and lived in Germany, among many other crazy things, the one sage piece of advise Johnson has is: 'Live as much as you can and embrace all experiences as they come—fully and completely.'

Charlie Wood, country manager for Dropbox.

I'd recommend people should get a few years experience at an established multi-national during their early 20s. The experience people will gain at these companies will set them up nicely for future endeavours. Those who are entrepreneurial in nature, should follow their dreams and bring their ideas to life by starting something on their own or with a team. One of the most important things someone should do before they reach 30 is to travel, they will meet new people and will create new adventures! These experiences will broaden the mindset of any individual to help set them up for their 30s.
Bevan NelBusiness Insider Australia

Bevan Nel, MD of Helping.

Be disciplined in your management of money, keep a budget...and stick to it!
Secondly, if you're going to take a business risk, do it before you're married with kids and mortgage. You'll be more scared and less gutsy once you have a family and advancing and progression is important early on in your career. Lastly, it's important to keep in touch with past business associates.
Keep business cards, make a spreadsheet, do whatever it is to keep your contact list ongoing and up to date. Networking is key and you never know when you might need to reach out to someone.
From a non business perspective...travel. travel. travel! That's what I always tell anyone who is young. Travelling is great for developing confidence, meet business contacts and also a great way to refresh and restart your body and mind.
Kevin LynchBusiness Insider Australia

Kevin Lynch, Chief Marketing Officer at Open Colleges.

#1: Learn from your team: As we progress through our careers in our 20s, we need to learn not just from those above us, but also from our broader team. This can ensure that you build a strong foundation by your 30s.
I learn most from my team, the people who surround me. These are the people who make the magic happen, they are far smarter than I am. Our people are what makes us. We aim to ensure that we continue to build on the terrific culture here and ensure it is a great place to work for our staff where people believe in the company’s mission of changing lives through education.

Levi Aron, GM of Yumtable.

Seize the moment, set personal goals early in the game, keep them in check and strive to achieve or surpass those goals. Always remember to reward yourself as you reach each milestone. It's great for personal recognition. Work hard to push boundaries but don't forget to smell the roses every now and then. Remember, no goals = no drive = mediocre life, and who rates that?
Nicholas SmedleyBusiness Insider Australia

Nicholas Smedley, MD of Steller.

As we are in the real estate game I think it is important that our employees understand the market. There is no better way than getting into the property market yourself.
My advice would be to start saving as early as you can - whether that is through shares or a varied investment portfolio. There is nothing better than compound interest. This gets you into the frame of mind of saving and buying your first property before 30 would be a great start. 
Sarah  Kimmorley

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

7 things everyone should start doing in their 30s


The older you get, the harder it is to change your habits.
But in your 30s, there's still time to adopt new, positive behaviors.
To help you pinpoint the changes you'll want to make, we consulted recent Quora threads on this critical decade and highlighted the most compelling responses.
Read on for the best ideas.

1. Start laughing at yourself.

"Laugh at yourself, laugh at the absurdity of life, laugh at the goodness and the badness of every situation," writes Quora user Cyndi Perlman Fink.
Being able to find humor in your own struggles may be important for your overall health and happiness. Research suggests that people who are able to laugh at themselves are generally more cheerful.

2. Start appreciating your family and friends.

In your 20s, you may be so busy getting an education and launching your career that family and friends fall by the wayside. Your 30s are a good time to get back in touch and remember how much you love spending time with them.
As for family, "if you can find a way to make a connection with them, you may find some things in common with them, more than you expect," says Robert Walker.
And as for friends, Nan Waldman says: "Nurture them. Laugh with them. Be silly too. Contribute to their survival and enjoyment of life. Take the time every week to be in touch."

3. Start keeping a journal.

"Journal your life! Your written records will entertain and endear in your future," writes Mark Crawley.
You don't necessarily have to keep a secret notebook under your bed — a digital photo album with captions works just as well.

It's important to stick to a healthy weight in your 30s.


4. Start maintaining a healthy weight.

Several Quora users noted the importance of maintaining a healthy weight in your 30s. "Keep your weight at a normal level that's good for your body," writes Fink.
To do that, it's important to stay active and eat right. A growing body of research suggests that if you're looking to lose weight, your diet makes more of a difference than your exercise habits.

5. Start saving money.

One of the most important financial habits to start practicing in your 30s is spending less than you earn. "Make it a habit to live below your means," writes David Leon. "I know way too many people who live hand to mouth at 50 due to excessive spending at 30."
Bonus: If you start saving for retirement early, you'll reap the amazing benefits of compound interest.

6. Start chasing a big goal.

Up till now, you may have only dreamed about starting a family, buying a house, or earning an advanced degree. Now's the time to go for it.
"It's easy to put things off," says Bill Karwin. "But it's really true that time starts accelerating as you enter your 30s, and it keeps accelerating. The time that you'll get around to those dreams should be now."

7. Start learning from your mistakes.

You probably made plenty of mistakes in your 20s. That's OK — as long as you grow from your experiences. That requires accepting responsibility for what went wrong and understanding why it went wrong.
After all, as Amanda Frisk says, "everything in life is a way for us to learn, to be better."

Shana  Lebowitz

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

What I Do When I Feel Like Giving Up



I am struggling today. If you’ve ever struggled to be consistent with something you care about, maybe my struggle with resonate with you too.
It has been 939 days since November 12, 2012. That’s the date when I first published an article on JamesClear.com and it’s almost 2 years and 7 months ago. During these 939 mostly glorious, sometimes frustrating days, I have written a new post every Monday and Thursday. Week after week. Month after month. Year after year.
But today? Well, today I am struggling. Today, I don’t feel like writing. Today, I don’t feel like sticking to the routine. Today, I don’t feel like I have any great ideas and I don’t feel like I have enough time to make the good ideas great. Today, I feel like giving up.
Research from the University of Pennsylvania has shown that grit is the characteristic linked most closely to success. I could use some grit today.
Here’s what I try to remind myself of when I feel like giving up…

Your Mind is a Suggestion Engine

Consider every thought you have as a suggestion, not an order. Right now, my mind is suggesting that I feel tired. It is suggesting that I give up. It is suggesting that I take an easier path.
If I pause for a moment, however, I can discover new suggestions. My mind is also suggesting that I will feel very good about accomplishing this work once it is done. It is suggesting that I will respect the identity I am building when I stick to the schedule. It is suggesting that I have the ability to finish this task, even when I don’t feel like.
Remember, none of these suggestions are orders. They are merely options. I have the power to choose which option I follow. 

Discomfort Is Temporary

Relative to the time in your normal day or week, nearly any habit you perform is over quickly. Your workout will be finished in an hour or two. Your report will be typed to completion by tomorrow morning. This article will be finished in just a moment.
Life is easier now than it has ever been. 300 years ago, if you didn’t kill your own food and build your own house, you would die. Today, we whine about forgetting our iPhone charger.
Maintain perspective. Your life is good and your discomfort is temporary. Step into this moment of discomfort and let it strengthen you.

You Will Never Regret Good Work Once It is Done

Theodore Roosevelt famously said, “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” So often it seems that we want to work easily at work worth doing. We want our work to be helpful and respected, but we do not want to struggle through our work. We want our stomachs to be flat and our arms to be strong, but we do not want to grind through another workout. We want the final result, but not the failed attempts that precede it. We want the gold, but not the grind.
Anyone can want a gold medal. Few people want to train like an Olympian.
And yet, despite our resistance to it, I have never found myself feeling worse after the hard work was done. There have been days when it was damn hard to start, but it was always worth finishing. Sometimes, the simple act of showing up and having the courage to do the work, even in an average manner, is a victory worth celebrating.

This Is Life

Life is a constant balance between giving into the ease of distraction or overcoming the pain of discipline. It is not an exaggeration to say that our lives and our identities are defined in this delicate balance. What is life, if not the sum of a hundred thousand daily battles and tiny decisions to either gut it out or give it up?
This moment when you don’t feel like doing the work? This is not a moment to be thrown away. This is not a dress rehearsal. This moment is your life as much as any other moment. Spend it in a way that will make you proud.

Let the World Decide

So, what do I do when I feel like giving up? I show up.
Do I show up at my best? I doubt it. But my job isn’t to judge how good or how bad I am.
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James Clear